The EmPOWERed You/Week 4

In a most powerful (pun intended) podcast Brene Brown interviews Elizabeth Lesser on the power of women’s stories. Within the podcast Brene mentions the components of Power Over vs. Power With. Most often I have heard this discussed as it relates to a corporation, community, organization, or even a family. For the next several weeks I am discussing how each component can be applied to accessing individual power. This is week 4 in the series.

Values Individualism, fortitude and action vs. relationship, empathy and communication

A few definitions before getting into this one.

Individualism: political and social philosophy that emphasizes the moral worth of the individual. (www.britannica.com)

Fortitude: courage in pain or adversity (Oxford languages via Google)

This week’s application of Power Over vs Power With feels a little bit different as each of the components on both sides of the argument have some obvious merit. For example, the moral worth of an individual is basic to every relationship whether to self or others; additionally fortitude is a trait which I think most would deem as worth striving for additionally action is precisely what is needed to get the results we want in our lives. However, I do think we can use these traits against ourselves at times.

Here is what came to my mind as an example when I used fortitude and action against myself. I was training for a marathon and I decided that I wanted to BQ (Boston Qualify). This meant that I would have to take 26 minutes off of my best marathon time. I went to the track to do speedwork. My son, who was 14 went with me to time my laps (and be my coach). At one point as I came around and asked for my time on the completed lap,

Ben said to me, “Mom, this time try to relax and enjoy the run. Put your head back and just run.”

I honestly didn’t think that sounded like the way to improve my time but I gave it a try. Wouldn’t you know…my best lap yet!

I recognize I often think working harder, gritting my teeth, staying power focused, running through the pain etc seems like the way towards progress but certainly that is NOT always the case.

I have had experiences in my life where I have learned that running through the pain is not the best approach and can lead to injury. I will add, however, that working through pain can bring growth and increased strength if done with a good level of self awareness.

Sometimes we get so caught up in checking off our “to do” list that we might miss an opportunity or need for self compassion. An example that comes to mind here is a client of mine who has a very high stress job and will go and go until her body actually starts to give her signs that she must slow down.

Have you ever noticed the same?

Our bodies are good at sending signals and if we don’t listen to the subtle warnings, then the messages will become louder and impossible to ignore. The list of stress-induced diseases seems to be continually growing. Recognized diseases that can be brought on or exacerbated by stress include diabetes, heart disease, autoimmune diseases, cancer, and mental disorders.

When we begin to get signals from our bodies that we are “overdoing”, the antidote is self communication and compassion. The relationship between our physical health and emotional health is unquestionable. The more self awareness we can create within this relationship, the more successful we will be in accessing our personal power.

My wrap up for this week’s empowered post would include individualism, fortitude and action should never be exercised at the expense of relationship, empathy and communication. When self awareness and compassion are guiding individual fortitude and action…that is POWER!

Power on, my friends!

xoKathleen