The EmPOWERed You/Week 3
In a most powerful (pun intended) podcast Brene Brown interviews Elizabeth Lesser on the power of women’s stories. Within the podcast Brene mentions the components of Power Over vs. Power With. Most often I have heard this discussed as it relates to a corporation, community, organization, or even a family. For the next several weeks I am discussing how each component can be applied to accessing individual power. This is week 3 in the series.
This week’s focus is on how we collaborate. A thought that has been coming up for me is that my readers may think I am leaning towards a multiple personality disorder as I suggest ideas such as collaborating with oneself, however, read on.
When I think of competitive collaboration with oneself, my first thought is how we pit our past and present (and even future) selves against each other on the regular. An example would be looking at pictures of ourselves in the past when we were a different size than we are currently and making that mean something negative about us presently. {or visa versa} We look at happy pictures and wonder why are aren’t feeling that emotion now. We might think of ourselves in a past career or role and longingly wish to feel so capable and contributory. In this sense, it is almost as if we are in a power struggle with ourselves and our own experiences.
Competitive self collaboration comes to mind when we challenge ourselves to be “better” every day. I have always thought that way of thinking sounds so tiring and brings about a feeling of never enoughness. What I would prefer to think is that I am evolving and learning, always. This may be that some days I actually do regress, but in recognizing the regressing, I can actually evolve if I allow myself to.
Remember that comparison, a step-child of competition, will never lead to a positive result. Neither being “up” or “down” brings about positive energy.
We may have things in our past that we regret and wish had never happened.
I really like David Shnarch’s take on this:
Our mistakes and regrets are not barriers for becoming who we can be; they are a necessary ingredient.
Which leads me to the idea of connective collaborating. The understanding that where we have been, who we are now and what we will become are all beautifully intertwined. Neither component is better or worse but merely part of who we are. When we are connective with ourselves, we are able to appreciate wisdom we have acquired and are open to what lessons may be available to us.
This leads us to getting rid of the “what ifs” and “If onlys” and allows us focus on what is and look forward to what will be.
Happy connections my friends!
xoKathleen
