The EmPOWERed You/Week 2

In a most powerful (pun intended) podcast Brene Brown interviews Elizabeth Lesser on the power of women’s stories. Within the podcast Brene mentions the components of Power Over vs. Power With. Most often I have heard this discussed as it relates to a corporation, community, organization, or even a family. For the next several weeks I am discussing how each component can be applied to accessing individual power. This is week 2 in the series.

This week’s focus for our emPOWERed you series is authoritarian vs. interactive.

As I think of this concept in the frame of self empowerment, I realize that I spend a LOT of time telling myself what I should be doing and thinking and how I should be experiencing life. When I get heavy on the shoulds, I am being authoritarian with myself.

It looks something like this: I really should already have figured out this eating thing. I am too judgmental of others. I should be able to keep up on my house, always. I should have time to reach out to others on the daily. I should be in control of my reactions, always. I should be in control of my finances. I should be…you get the idea.

Authoritarian comes up with a sense of needing to be in control. all. the. time.

Interactive me, however, is all about being open and staying there.

Special photo thanks to Miss Cassie Jane

Be open to how you are experiencing life. Come with a sense of curiosity and even wonder. Look at the pic above of Cassie Jane…she is interacting with life in a way I dream of.

When I am interactive I take time to really get curious about my life from a place of compassion and seeking feedback from all parts of me.

This could look like: I wonder why keeping up on my house has been such a challenge this week? I wonder what other choices I am making and why? Is that something I need to pay attention to right now? Do I need help in this area or just self compassion.

Interactive suggests a dialogue of sorts. How does your “need to be in control” self interact with your “I just don’t feel like it now” self? I believe it is most empowering if both sides get to provide input. For example: You have decided that you are taking a walk everyday because you want to be more healthy, but you have had an exhausting day and would prefer to sit down and watch netflix. Interactive you would possibly have this inner dialogue: I understand I feel really tired and need a break. I also know that I want to be more healthy. How bout we do both; walk then rest.

I think that many of us have been programmed to believe there is a right and a wrong way to do everything. That’s it. Two choices. So, in the previous example the right thing was to {obviously, see where my brain goes} take the walk. Wrong: watch Netflix. Authoritarian feels so restrictive.

What I have found to be helpful is to seek out what feels more like my right way, rather than "the right” way. Ofen times this may not look like someone else’s life or even what my past self pictured my own life to be.

As we allow ourselves to be more interactive and open to what we are experiencing, we will be able to discover what my {your} right way is. It is tricky, though as so often we go back to the authoritarian part of us.

Here are some questions that might help you move from authoritarian to interactive.

1) What else could be true?

2) What could I be missing here?

3) What feels most true for me at this time?

Keep those interactions going and I believe, as you do so, you will begin to discover a more complete personal power that feels true and authentic for you.

xoKathleen