It is about Becoming.
Today on my run with one of my besties, I started to express concerns of the previous week. As I did so, I had some serious self confrontation come up. I even said, “Oh my gosh! I hate this feeling! My head is swimming and I feel like I want to be sick.” This was an interesting experience for me. I was literally fighting the truth I did not want to face.
And, of course when I came home and looked to my latest BB reference I found this quote helpful: “Individuals who lack emotional awareness are able, with practice to connect their physical sensations to psychological events. Then they can slowly reconnect with themselves.” Brene Brown Atlas of the Heart.
Here I thought I was so emotionally aware. But guess what? Life is not a check off the box kind of a gig. It really is about becoming. I was so upset with myself when I realized I had fallen short and yet. Falling short is how we learn and progress. I haven’t “arrived” at being emotionally aware 100% of the time, but I am becoming. And, as the quote suggests, I am becoming someone who connects my physical sensations to psychological events which is leading me to be a person who is connected with myself. “Becoming thinking” feels so much more self compassionate.
What does this mean? How could this be helpful?
I like this idea because it shifts the focus away from “once I get there I will be happy” to “I am becoming the kind of a person who”.
It is not that the above goals or intentions are bad but it is just another way of looking at our achievements as a process rather than an arrival.
The truth is that we are always becoming something or rather someone. “Working towards a person who”…is a way of doing so intentionally. I was listening to a podcast and the woman speaking was using an analogy of skills that would need to be learned before someone would be able to maintain a healthy weight. It was eye opening to me as I have spent so many years of my life looking at the number on the scale change and feeling like I haven’t “gotten there yet”. But as I listened to the skillset she was enumerating, I realized that I had mastered most of the skills she was speaking of. Well, maybe not mastered but could definitely recognize them as things I do and have become.
Her way of thinking was new to me and seemed like something I had certainly missed; a new way to measure progress. Skills learned rather than goals achieved.
I am beginning to understand that it is not only worthwhile to self confront where I am lacking, but also to recognize my progress in becoming.
What are you becoming? I would love to help you discover your own becoming and connecting. It is so empowering:)
xoKathleen
