I Learned it in Primary
They just knew!
I wrote the words: Hears, Understands, Knows, Loves on the chalkboard. I asked them who, they knew, would those words be describing. They knew. Even the junior group ages 3-7. They said Jesus. The senior group ages 8-11 said God.
When I am not Life Coaching, Mom, wife and grammying I have the opportunity to teach songs to the children in our church. The organization is called the Primary. The song we were learning is called, “Children All Over The World”. The words are delightful and include six different languages saying thank you to God. At the end of the song the words are “Our Heavenly Father hears them (each child), He understands each tongue; our Heavenly Father knows them, He loves them, everyone.
I got thinking this morning as I was prepping for the day that these four words are the exact way to come to love someone. It starts with hearing which leads to understanding. Once we understand someone we know them in a profound way and love is easily accessed.
HEARS.
Listening. Something I have been mindfully working on since 10th grade. I gave a speech in debate on Listening. I knew it was important then, both then, and now it is a challenge for me. You see, I feel I have so much to say that I actually have to mindfully stop myself from interjecting and to just listen. I like to think that what I do is called active listening in that I am just actively responding to what I am hearing. This may be a clever way to rationalize or there may be some truth there. Either way, I have found that in order to really come to know someone and to really truly come to understand them, listening is so important and if done authentically is amazing. What I know of listening is that I need more of it. God is always listening.
UNDERSTANDS.
Years ago I had a therapist tell me that if we could know everyone’s story that we would be able to understand why they are in the position they are. He said you may not agree with their choices, but you would understand them. I believe that understanding is the antidote to judgement. And I have found it essential in my quest to love all of the humans. I do NOT have to agree in order to understand. God understands us always.
KNOWS.
Knowing someone is a gift. It can be a small gift. You see someone you have seen before and say, “I don’t think I know you.” They then, usually give you their name and that is a start. If they also tell you just one {or two} facts about themselves you are very close to knowing them. If you are able to find something in common, even closer. Once you experience something together whether that be a shared meal, a discussion, viewing an activity together or subsequent recognition, you know that person. You know something of their nature. God knows us best.
LOVES.
To me love is the reward. It is my favorite feeling of all. Just as I would say that race day is the reward for all of the runner’s training efforts, so it is with love. Once we put in the effort to listen, understand and know our fellow humans we are endowed with the feeling of love. God is love.
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I wrote a previous post entitled “As Thyself”. Much of the work I do with clients is to help women love themselves. This four word formula works for others, but will work best {for others} if first done for self. What would this look like?
1.HEARS: Self awareness. Become aware of what you are thinking, feeling and recognize that you are creating the results in your life.
2.UNDERSTANDS: Remember this step is the antidote for judgement. If you understand yourself you are not critical. This will come as you choose to be curious with yourself.
3.KNOWS: As you exercise #1, 2 you will come to know yourself. You will begin to trust yourself. You will find your voice.
4.LOVES: Loving yourself if not always easy. Sometimes it means saying “no” to someone else or saying “no” to the easy things in life and staying true to your higher self commitments; sometimes it means taking an intentional break. Love of self looks different on the daily and is as individual as DNA but the feeling, oh! the feeling is amazing and as soon as it is truly felt…the magical thing is that it is so easily shared.
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So, here is my oversimplification summary statement: Everything we need to know we learned in Primary. The secret to loving others is to follow God’s example. Study and exemplify the love of His son. Embracing His love for us and loving ourselves in His way will induce us to love others similarly.
xoKathleen
