Buffering Redefined Part I
A buffer is placed to ease friction between two points.
Buffering: activities that we engage in to avoid present pressures or challenges. In other words, using external things to alter how we feel internally.
To further clarify: buffering may involve an activity that is considered unhealthy solely due to the excessive nature of consumption. i.e. overeating, spending hours scrolling social media, watching movies, purchasing or collecting things, or viewing porn.
Answer the above questions and if the answer is yes to both then chances are that you are buffering. The sneaky part about buffering is that the buffering activity will never satisfy you.
This happens to me when I get stuck on a salty/sweet eating frenzie. After dinner, I just want something sweet. Totally understandable, right? But what happens sometimes is that I have that serving of sweet and then want to follow if up with more sweet or how bout salty, popcorn anyone? At this point I might realize that my cravings do not seem satiable.
So, now that we recognize buffering, so what?
Buffering is such an understandably human thing to do. Think about when you were young and sad or hurt and your mom offered a cookie...it is what we do to feel better. And...it totally works! But only short term.
The way that we can use buffering to actually improve our life...long term, is to get underneath it.
What am I needing right now that I think______ will fix?
Facing the buffering and acknowledging our needs takes not only self awareness but also self trust and self love. The irony is the buffering is never enough and the antidote to the unhealthy activity is for you to believe that you ARE enough. That you can satisfy any internal needs that you have and do so in a way that best serves you.
In a way buffering is like receiving an important memo from yourself. It is an acknowledgement that something in your life is difficult and that you are going to need to dig deep to meet a personal need.
Take that memo and answer it in the most self loving way possible.
If you are struggling with reading your self memos or even receiving them, I'd love to help you work on your buffering.
xoKathleen
PS. As always, the first step to working with me is setting up a free consult. Click on the button below.
