Brene Brown: Atlas of the Heart meets Run-0n Sentences

Years ago I published a blog that I cleverly titled Run-on Sentences. Clever because I love a good play on words and you all know how I could go on and on about running but also I used it as a mode to express my thoughts and labeling them as run-ons allowed me the freedom to tie my thoughts together or not. Today’s post feels a bit run-on at least it does presently. Let’s see how it unfolds.

I have recently completed the book Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown. If you have been a reader {of this blog} for any amount of time you are likely aware of my affinity to Brene’s work. So no big surprise that I enjoyed her book. What I wasn’t prepared for, however were the last couple of chapters; which for me, blew the whole rest of the book out of the water as far as content, new ideas and personal application. I have pulled a few significant quotes out and will attempt to share why they felt so to me. Before I leave this paragraph about Brene…have you heard that she is taking a sabbatical?? She is pausing her business, podcast, SM for the entire summer! Hmm. What that means for her fans?? Admittedly, my first reaction was…what? Am I going to listen to on my runs that need to be fueled by thoughtful entertainment? But then I answered myself…I think this is a perfect length of time for me to try to metabolize Brene’s latest work and apply it. Afterall, it is a significant contribution and is worthy of my time and reflection.

First quote, above. As long as I can remember, I have embraced the truth that we are all “created equal”; that we are all children of God. We deserve the same respect and none above the other. I am uncomfortable around people who don’t seem to embrace this value. Have you been around people who seem to believe that they are {obviously} above others in one way or another? To be clear, this is such a natural “fall in” for us humans to use comparisons and hierarchies to make sense of our surroundings. I do love the simplicity of the quote which clearly implies that if there is a value scale for humanity then at any time one can be re-appraised and depending on the rubric used, your value could plummet. Reminds me of the present, crazy housing market. For this reason, I choose to believe that no matter who we are, what we do, how we think or feel, we are all 100% worthy, valuable individuals living the human experience. Simple. Really. You’re amazing, I’m amazing.

Jumping right into my next point which, is probably more related to the previous quote than I would like to recognize is the concept of embodiment. Brene points out that this is one of the constructs necessary for grounded confidence. Embodiment being the ability to be aware of the sensations in our body and to respond in ways that are consistent to our beliefs and values.

Brene goes on further to explain that our bodies let us know when we are not living in alignment with our beliefs or values in the form of insomnia, injuries, exhaustion, depression and anxiety. I would dare add obesity. I know that is a hot topic and one that might not be universally accepted but, for me, one of the behaviors that I participate in when I am not willing to be tuned in with my feelings or life experiences is overeating which leads to weight gain/obesity. It really is not all bad news. It is an amazing arrangement, in fact, that our bodies are given to us to help alert us when we have gone “off plan”. Have you ever received a diagnosis that came with , “it can be caused by stress”. What is the stress most often related to? An event, circumstance or even belief conflict that we have not fully worked through, felt or faced. If we are willing to get out of our distractions and experience life to its fullest, our bodies are actually the vehicle designed to help us process it all. Our feelings are literally vibrations felt within our bodies. When we take the time to recognize and feel them, our bodies facilitate the relief of the stress that binds our progression and our ability to live life in alignment. Listening to our bodies is not just a cute way to curb our hunger or alleviate stress, but may be the key to fully living this human experience.

Oh dear! Here goes the calling myself out part. When I heard {audible} and then later read this quote by Prentis Hemphill I just knew that I needed some self contronting. Do you ever say to yourself, How could I do that?! I know it isn’t good to eat cookie dough+5 cookies in one evening. Or how did I spend the last 5 hours watching a show I don’t even like that much? Well, here’s a pretty good place to start. “…When we are disembodied or disconnected from our own feelings and sensations, it’s easy to become habituated to practices that we don’t believe in or value.” Okay, that’s about enough heavy for one post.

Before leaving, however, I can’t help but tie my 1st, 2nd and 3rd quotes together. As I was growing up, I had the blessing of having parents who loved others and taught me to do the same. However, they did get a bit judgy. And, one area where judgment ran rampant was in the area of body size. I mean they were obsessed their entire life with what they weighed and with the size of the humans around them. I have had to come to terms with the fact that I was raised looking out of a “body image lens” that I don’t believe was healthy. So, that being said, I realize that my worth for many years was tied to my weight, size and fitness level. What I understand now is using ANY type of measuring stick to compare the humans and tie to worth is not consistent with my core values or beliefs. Doing so, will NEVER bring peace or happiness as it is in contradiction to something I KNOW to be true. Paragraph one: all created equal. all 100% worthy.

Please know that when I express beliefs I was given in my childhood that I am not being critical of my parents. I know that they were/are both amazing people and they were doing the best they could with the limits of their experiences and exposure. And a bit of a pause to say that I truly believe one of the benefits of the internet and having access to so many people with such vastly different experiences is the inevitable acceleration of the social evolution of humanity. I really believe that to be true. Think about how each generation is able to learn from the past…years ago you only had your parents and if you were lucky, the wisdom of your grandparents. We learn from failure. It is true. We learn best from our own failures but we can also learn from the failures of others. My point being that this generation and those to come have the advantage of taking in a plethora of cultures, beliefs and practices from which they can draw. So, of course, each generation can and should be more enlightened than their predecessors. But again, not better or worthier, but more enlightened.

Like many women I have spent a great deal of time, energy, thinking, talking, researching and working on finding that elusive place where diet and exercise level meet to produce {my} ultimate body shape. I have come pretty close a few times, in my opinion. However, I think this feeling piece and actually experiencing life piece may just be the missing part of my treasure map. This Atlas of the heart may actually give us {me} the language to realize that the journey is just that and that the lessons are there for us to learn whether they come in the shape of unexpressed emotions or unrecognized personal habits. The whole embodiment idea helps me feel less superficial about my physical quest. As it turns out my quest to the perfect body may not find me in a size 4 but may blow my mind in new understandings and ultimately bring me to the real treasure: my truest self.

xoKathleen