As Thyself

Think about how it feels to be served by someone who “needs” to serve you. It feels similar to being “helped” by a creepy salesperson. You know they are not there for you.

It is so refreshing to shop at a store where the sales associate seems genuinely interested in helping you rather than earning their commission. Their value or earnings is not contingent on whether you purchase or not. They really want to help you find what you are looking for. Have you ever had a sales person suggest a different store? It is both amazing and refreshing; they genuinely want to meet your needs and are not concerned with getting the credit.

The same is true in how we approach our fellow humans. Are we being kind as a way to earn our commission and if so, what need are we expecting our service to fill that could be filled internally?

Maybe we are looking to feel like we are a good person. I like to believe that we are all inherently “good” people. Nothing we do or say is going to make us any “better” per se but will be a reflection of how we choose to conduct ourselves.  

It is only a slight shift but I think so important in our becoming truly authentic.

I believe the commandment of “Love thy neighbor as thyself” assumes that we first understand what it means to “love thyself”.

It does not say…”love thy neighbor in order to love thyself.”

But assumes we have figured that part out because, of course we love ourselves. Not so. Not all of us and not most of us over the age of 5.5 years.

It has been said that we are our worst critics but I’d say we are our worst haters. This should not be allowed. I mean, really. Stop it!

If you don’t like your choices or behaviors…take the time to understand your choices…get really curious. From a place of compassion understand why you made the choices you did. I promise it is not because you are a “bad” person. There is likely a very reasonable motivation behind your behaviors. Allow yourself to find that objectively as if from an observer’s standpoint; this is much easier to do if you accept that you are a “good” person.

While we are getting Biblical, let’s consider our exemplar. I believe that the reason Christ was perfect in his expressions of love was because of His perfect understanding of who He was/is. He did not need anyone to validate Him because He clearly understood His innate value. His role. With that kind of understanding He was able to make an immeasurable impact on mankind in a relatively short lifespan.

Most of us have many more years than He to make our impact. Let’s not waste it looking to others to make us feel “okay” and “worthy”. Let’s give that gift to ourselves. every. day.—which will enable us to get out of ourselves and free us to love the others.

And really love them. You will be surprised what this subtle shift can do for you and those around you. Your actions may very well stay the same but your motivation behind them will be authentic and will feel so much better to you and to them.

Much of my work as a Life Coach is to help women believe and lean into their worth/value+power. In other words: Love Thyself.

I love this work…and my personal goal…love all the humans.