I Got You!
I had just had my fourth boy like 6 months before and had stopped nursing. And…I was late by quite a few days. {This was way before pregnancy tests could be picked up at the dollar store.} The thing is…my tubes were tied.
I panicked! How could this be happening to me?
I called my OB/GYN talked to the receptionist. She told me that in 30+ years of his practice. NEVER had they had a break through pregnancy on one of his ligations. I breathed a bit better. Within the week. It started.
I went in for a routine check and told my doctor about my scare and his reply I have never forgotten…”Why did you panic? That’s why you have me. I’ve got you!”.
This was back in the year 2000 before the phrase had become mainstream, it hit with such force and I received it with gratitude and relief. It felt so good to know that I had someone I could count on.
While I do have such gratitude for my amazing OB/GYN, I am thinking now that what would have been more life saving than the offering, I got you! from him, would have been an inner dialogue that would have sounded something like this:
"Why are you panicking, Kath? You've done unplanned, unexpected before. You can do this!"
At the time I wasn't ready or open to such thoughts and that's okay. When that is the case it can be life saving to have someone offering up the "I got you flotation device".
This morning on my run, I was listening to an interview between two authors. One was Jennifer Pastiloff who wrote the book, On Being Human. I am in love with this book so far...about halfway in and one I am wanting to relish.
As the authors were talking, Jen shared that she has a tattoo that says, "I Got You!" Jen seems to be an amazing, giving and open person. She has such an inspiring, real and heart wrenching story. She has influenced so many with her story, she puts on retreats and is a popular speaker and influencer.
One of the questions that her interviewer asked was how do you deal with setting boundaries when so many people ask for your help and assistance? In other words, how do you cope when you realize you can't be there for EVERYONE?
The thought came so loudly in my consciousness...
In order for us to be available to help others, we really do need to “have us” covered, first. In the authors discussion this would mean setting boundaries and knowing when to say “no” when asked to do more than we are able.
Realizing that the end goal of service will make for the most fulfilling life; {IMO} that is only available to us if we first ensure we are availABLE to give. The whole “can’t pour from an empty cup” is true as well as we can’t look to serving others as the means to filling our own cup. An attempt to do so makes service a self promoting activity which is, well not service.
One of the main objectives I have as a Life Coach is to help my clients learn how to care for themselves. It is not easy for women to do so. We have been taught and socialized to believe it is our role to care for everyone around us at all costs. I recognize that this misconception has been called out recently and I am so glad for that! Even so, it is difficult to believe new thoughts and take actions that feel so unnatural and even {dare I say} selfish.
I have mentioned before on my blog that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Within our church, all of the women belong to an organization called the Relief Society. The motto for the RS is “Charity Never Faileth”. When I was much younger and heard this motto it just made me feel exhausted. As in, a good woman never ceases to serve others—that is how I interpreted the motto.
The more I learned about the word charity and its definition being: God’s love. Rather than a feeling of my not enoughness, It feels so reassuring that God’s love never faileth.…mine? Oh yes, many a time over! But the closer my love comes to mimic the love God has for all of us, the more easily I am able to serve and the more pure my offering.
Help yourself. help your neighbors and help your neighbors help themselves. That feels like a wrap.
xoKathleen
